If I had one wish, it would be to wake up and be ten years old again. I’d make different decisions if I could go back. I would of taken better care of my two best friends who I lost to car accidents. I’d also make a different choice about being with my first baby momma so I would of never ended up in jail.
My name is Reuben. Im a 38 year old, Hispanic man; born and raised in Los Angeles, but now living in San Bernadino, California. Im a supervisor at a plant where we build surgical instruments. I worked my way up from the bottom without having a high school diploma or GED.
I dropped out of high school right after I turned 18 because my ex, who I previously referred to as “first baby momma,” got pregnant. I started working at a young age and never had time to go back to school. I took an online course a few years ago for a diploma but my job told me it wasn’t valid. They aren’t requiring me to have a diploma since I’ve worked for them 16 years already.
I once loved my job but now I hate getting up to go to work and I hate my job with a passion because as a supervisor, it seems like I’m going to a daycare instead of a job.
I used to like being a supervisor and it was okay until management started making changes at work, which put more stress on employees as well as myself. Management there really sucks. They make a lot of changes that arent really to help out, but to make things more difficult. A lot of times managers ask me for advice and it’s so stressful having to do my job and theirs. On top of that,they don’t give me support when I need it.
After jail, school was still an option, but I thought working full time was more important to be able to take care of me, my ex and our daughter. Before I dropped out of high school I met my current wife. We were friends and got along very well. We kept in touch, when I got locked up and she gave me lots of support and eventully I fell for her.
My ex would threaten me: she’d say if I ever left her or cheated on her she would lie to the cops and say I was having sex with her when I was not supposed to up until she was 18. Her parents would leave me alone with her in their own house while I was supposed to have adult supervision when around her,like when I would go over to see her and our daughter. My ex felt she had control of everything. So all that got to me and I felt I couldn’t make a living with her. Once she even tried to stab me in front of her mom because I had female friends. It got old very quickly and I turned to the one who was always there, my wife.
Once I decided to leave me ex for my wife it was very bad. There was drama almost every other day. It was just too much. I even went and got a restraining order so she couldn’t say I was going over to see her.
My wife always thought I was still meeting up with my ex, because my ex would call and tell her I was there when I wasn’t. I would be at work. I had to bring my time cards to my wife as proof so she could trust me. Because of the lack of trust, I am where I’m at now; separated and unsure if I want to stay married. I feel like I won’t ever be happy with her anymore and I feel like I don’t care about what she thinks or feels anymore. It started with the trust issues which turned me off. After I was turned off she gained more weight ( I like the girls to be somewhat in shape or at least smaller than me where I can lift them off their feet). If we weren’t dealing with the trust problems, maybe
So far the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that jail is not a place for me since I was in there before I had this job. I went to jail for statutory rape because when I was in high school, I was 17 and my girlfriend was 14. I was 17 when she got pregnant and when I turned 18, she was 15 and my daughter was born a few months later. When we found out she was pregnant I dropped out of school and went to work. When the baby was born they locked me up because my girlfriend, my child’s mother, was a minor. I’m 90 percent sure it was my girlfriends mother who pressed charges. I was in jail for three weeks. When I was released I was given three years probation, restitution fines, community service and had to take sexual education classes. She and I are four years apart. It was confusing because her parents didn’t try to keep us apart. Although, they were upset at first…but then they’d let me stay overnight at their house.
I wouldn’t mind the weight gain, or I would of have brought it up to her sooner or later and let her know that I would prefer if she took care of herself. I have cheated on my wife, but I have never been caught. I don’t know if she has cheated on me. She may have and I would never know. Yes, her suspicions are correct now but they weren’t before. Marriage…well I guess I learned I should of been more open about things and not hold things in just because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. My relationship with my kids is good. I have my daughter with my ex and a son and daughter with my wife. I spend a lot more time with my son since we are both into cars, but I’ve been looking for something to do with my girls as well. My first daughter with my ex works now, so I dont see her as much, but we stay in touch a lot. As of now, I can say I’m passionate about cars. I like going to car events and seeing cars drifting which is what I’m trying to do myself with my son. I’m grateful to have support. I was raised by both of my parents together. They have always been there for me and they still are, even after going through my separation with the wife which is still in the process of being finalized.